Ash Wednesday

In his book GOD IS CLOSER THAN YOU THINK, Presbyterian pastor John Ortberg says that for many years his wife ran a young adult ministry with about 1500 participants. He jokingly remarks that it had two effects on him: 1) Because his wife was around so many young men, in inspired him to keep in good shape, and 2) he kept abreast of current young adult relationship patterns.

In particular, Ortberg was fascinated by the D. T. R., which stands for "Define The Relationship." When a member of a couple asks for a D. T. R.; they are asking, "Are we just dating or are we moving to another level, are we in this for laughs or for keeps, where is this relationship going, or is it going nowhere?"

To ask your partner for a D. T. R. is a scary proposition, because you might not get the answers you want. And to be asked, invited into such a discussion can also be frightening, because you may be comfortable with the way things are and don't want to rock the boat by changing or by saying I don't want to change.

It seems to me that Ash Wednesday is God's invitation to a D.T.R. of the soul, 40 days of examining and deepening the relationship, a time for all of us to decide if we're in this for laughs or in it for keeps.

Delmer Chilton